If there was a way i could live in two places at once I would live anywhere where where theres Warm weather and id live here too. I miss the summer days, the sense of freedom the warm nights bring. Im reading “The Giver” by Lois Lowry which is a childrens book that was my favorite in elementry school. I remember reading it and really understanding the charachter Jonas. Always having that feeling of seperateness from his community… Never satisfied with the way life was and incomplete knowing theres more in the land just beyond. Im not talking about the spiritual land beyond but the physical place just outside of where he lives, the mystery of the unknown. The place he was drawn too when everyone else was content with their “sameness.”
Maybe im just too big a dreamer, always feeling like theres something out there for me that I will never find here, but then again maybe im just not looking hard enough at the places and people right in front of me. I keep having this feeling God is telling me this is all temporary, he has been preparing me for this my whole life but the posibility of what “this” is still eludes me and im losing all momentum slowly but surely. Alot of really good Christians can open the bible to a verse that is speaking to them and after time after time of opening and closing the same book thats never happened until one day when I woke up to do my morning reading I opened to Proverbs 8 “Wisdoms Call” and nothing could have been more perfect, and a few days later I opened to read the passage and it spoke to me even directly then before… and i read Proverbs 6:6-11 and have a feeling Hes telling me to get a move on the opportunity is waiting… “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, It has no overseer no ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. How long will you lie there you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands at rest- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.” haha and I wonder what Hes trying to say.
I wish I had the ability of speech. So many thoughts running through this mind of mine its a wonder I haven’t gone crazy… well any loonier then I am now i guess. Three more years at the same desk job… I think He means to show me perseverance and humility. Mostly perseverance. I pray for those weak like me. To someday be free of the constraints of the mind and let the spirit run free. The Mind can take you so far but its the spirit that will lead you in the right direction and guide you safely. I pray for perseverance, wisdom to make the right choices and the ability of unconditional Love.
I wonder how nobody notices how we have more then we can ever need, more then we can ever ask for in this life, More and More and Quicker and Quicker… instant gratification, yet everyone is still so depressed then ever before, more people as a whole just sadder by the day. Someone will buy a new Plasma tv, The best new computer, The sweetest phone out with eveything at your fingertips, but when that concept of “new” fades away, where is the happiness. Maybe less really is more. less money on technology and recreation and more time with well.. time… time to love and laugh and give and share and just be. Why is everyone always so damn busy and its considered odd just to be. The world is falling at an incredible rate our heads all dizzy never able to stay in sync with everything speeding by us, newer newer newer faster faster faster now now now…. The term investmet to me has grown a stigma, when i think investing i think bankers, schemes for money, long term goals turned into profit for someone else while my chances of benefiting go down the drain with the economy and all in it.
Investing: “defined as the act of investing; laying out money or capital in an enterprise with the expectation of profit.” (ah just as i thought!) where does the value go in that? When wisdom calls he says “Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather then choice gold, for wisdom is more precious then rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.” That leads me to think… people are directed where to invest their money, their capital, and their bonds but where are we being directed to invest our time? Into shopping, tv, partying, and the lifestyles of the rich and the famous. Not to sound so Mother Theresa but what about the children, the elderly, hopeless, and poor, The starving and lonely… Where are we putting most of our efforts and investments? Into the world of Man… The world of Banks and Clubs or into Gods world, where you love your neighbor as yourself and seek wisdom and truth instead of riches and fame. Yet I know people do think about this, something always in the back of someones mind, the knowledge that there needs to be change, that there are the hungry and the lonely, but then with the flip of a channel its back to Snookie and which World leader is ina scandal today.
I wish I had the ability of speech, the ability and courage to make the blind see, to help the lost to find their way. To bring us up as a people and simplify the right from wrong because to be honest, everthing has become more complicated then need be. I know the peple are willing to help, willing to do something for the greater good, but just where are their opportunities… i think given the proper circumstances and opportunity people may just suprise me yet. Just when I was losing all hope in The country we live and in humanity as a society I have become pleasantly suprised with things I am seeing lately, realizing there is hope you just have to look in the right places.
“You may say Im a dreamer, but Im not the only one… I hope someday you will join us… and the World will be as one.” -John Lennon